Third Thursday Comic corrections

For a few months now I've participated in the Third Thursday competitons at SVSlearn.com. In June, I got what you could call maybe being a runner-up--I had my piece critiqued, though I didn't win the class credit. Part of the reason I've focused on this competition rather than others is that possibility of learning to improve, as well as the possibility of a monetary prize. And bragging rights, of course ;-)

Well, its been awhile since June, but piece by piece I've made or tried out each correction suggested in the critique to the best of my ability. It still isn't perfect, but it is significantly improved. So, in case you wanted to take a look, here are the before and after versions of my piece:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

You can play a game of spot-the-difference if you want... or you can watch the video to see the suggested edits. The video is at the bottom of this page, along with the pieces that actually won: https://svslearn.com/#/blogView/-Jsl7bG7J3iLPyNmdckU. My critique starts about 49 minutes in.